Stars in the Milky Way: 6 Tips on Finding Real-Deal Spiritual Guides and Healers in a Crowded Esoteric Marketplace

Remember when the Self-Improvement and Spirituality sections of the book store comprised just one shelf? And when you found real-deal psychics through a friend of a friend and shamans in areas so remote you had to dodge jaguars, climb temperamental mountains, or follow hand-drawn maps deep into remote forests?

In this era of mass awakening and rapid shifts in consciousness, there are entire shops devoted to mandalas, magic, and money manifestation. Ask your neighborhood Facebook group to recommend a medium, and they’ll refer you to myriads. Spiritual guides and energy healers populate our communities like stars do the Milky Way.

So how do you know who’s legit? Where do you turn when the life you’ve known no longer makes sense, when you’re in an existential crisis, or when that which you’ve been seeking starts broadcasting to you the secrets of the universe during board meetings?

Take it from someone whose search for a mentor turned into lessons in discernment from a fake shaman later known more for his sexual escapades than spiritual guidance and an acupuncturist who mistook bad allergies for demonic entities and recommended drawing the curtains lest one be cursed by sitting under a solar eclipse. It’s an esoteric jungle out there with surly sorcerers, jagged fools gold, and transcendental tricksters aplenty. 

What’s also true is that there are a plethora of pure-hearted well-meaning souls eager to channel your guides and to teach you about the Law of Attraction—but they’re learning how to hold down a job and hear their own inner guidance. They’re spiritual influencers in the making, but haven’t yet passed some of life’s toughest initiations. 

Then there are those who can hold a lantern for you in the night, because they’ve befriended the dark. They won’t bat an eye or bypass your inner ghosts and goblins because they’ve integrated many of their own. When you’re navigating the most challenging moments of your life, consider the following suggestions for screening your potential new helper:

1. This may seem obvious, but does the practitioner walk their talk? How do they handle conflict and stress? Do they blame others for their problems? No one is perfect, and we all have shadow. But you might want to make sure they at least live by the Golden Rule, avoid gossip and drama, and take responsibility for their thoughts, actions, and even their lives.

2. Can they get to a meeting on time, or do they claim “there’s no such thing as time; it’s an illusion!” Can they make informed decisions, think for themselves, or do they need a pendulum to decide where to vacation? Make sure the person you hire is grounded, chops wood, and carries water.

3. Do they make sense, or do speak only spiritual jargon? If every other sentence references vibrational frequency, portals, and vortices and skips over dirty diapers, mowing the lawn, and eating healthy, they might be forgetting that the miraculous manifests in the mundane. Your healer might not be of the Earth, but they sure need to be in it. Otherwise, how can they counsel you on how to cope with being human?

4. Steer clear of anyone who reprimands you for feeling emotions like anger, jealousy, or fear by slapping you with an affirmation or prescribing positive thinking to repress pain. You can’t spiritually bypass your way out of navigating your inner wilderness and learning to love all parts of self like you would a child who is hurt or upset.

5. Settle for nothing less than someone who encourages self-empowerment. Just like you wouldn’t want a therapist to pathologize you, don’t put up with people who use spiritual concepts to put you down or keep you dependent on them to feel OK. If they guarantee miracles or try to convince you that you need their help to reach enlightenment, walk away.

6. Most important: Have they done their inner work? Faced their deepest fears? Come to embrace and transform their inner demons into divas? We’re all ever-expanding, sure. No one’s work here is done. But ASK them: “Tell me what you’ve learned from your Darkest Night of the Soul” and keep your ears open for the lessons they’ve learned and wisdom gained. 

You see, it all comes down to right use of power. Spiritual gifts can be used in service to self or service to Love. And someone who hasn’t at minimum toured their underworld can, when triggered, project their unhealed trauma onto you or try to fix you to distract from their own “stuff.” 

Interview your would-be Reiki practitioner, shadow worker, Tarot reader, or psycho-spiritual coach. How do they hold themselves accountable to ensure quality and ethical practice? Who trained them and for how long? If they’re self-taught (as many great ones are), ask for how long they’ve practiced or how they’ve successfully supported others, or seek references or testimonials. Attend one of their workshops before investing time and money into one-on-ones.

If you’re local to picturesque Chester Springs in Chester County, Pennsylvania, check out Solace Farms Day Retreat at 1218 Kimberton Road. A new staff of screened and seasoned  alternative healing and spiritual practitioners staff the three-story Victorian house affectionately known as Stella. 

Owner Andrea Hilborn (or Anj) opened her doors in 2021 with the mission of offering safe, supportive space to people struggling with loneliness, self-doubt, grief, and angst. Along with people from adjacent communities who share the vision of helping people grow, Anj transformed Stella with not only fresh coats of paint and a renovated wrap-around porch; she has cultivated and refined relationships with some of the tri-county area’s most compassionate and inspiring folks who now compose Solace Farms’ new Circle of Support team.

These compassionate listeners, personal growth facilitators, massage therapists, and intuitive practitioners want to help you to access your inner strengths, cultivate mindfulness, and reach your full potential. They’re available by appointment, and many offer monthly workshops and events and will participate in hosting mini retreats by request that are tailored to your needs. 

Curious about getting to know us but aren’t sure where to start? Schedule a Compassionate Listening session with a Circle of Support concierge. They’ll hold space and help you identify what your needs are that perhaps you haven’t yet been able to articulate . They’ll help you to get clear on what in your life is ready to change and help you to get on track.

You don’t have to go through tumultuous times alone. We’re here to greet you, get to know you, and embrace you into the community. So without further ado, we ask,  “How can we help?”